Duck Duck Cougar?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor