i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
