I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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