All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I could fuck to npr.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
