Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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