dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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