I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just come out here and I will go home with you...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
