Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
