Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
