Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
