is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
