Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
