Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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