Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need to align my fucking chakras
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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