Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I party with great urgency now.
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