WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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