hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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