and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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