dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
