Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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