You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Randomize
