Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
