I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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