Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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