Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize