he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
