Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
