fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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