Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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