there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
