New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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