You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
