The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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