You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
