We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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