I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
