I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
