and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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