I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
