I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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