who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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