smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize