Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
