when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it's not cheating when I paid for it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
