I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
