Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
