Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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