butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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