That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
