That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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