Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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