You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
