that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
