it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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