we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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