Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
