i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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